Once upon a time i experienced postnatal depression….twice…
Once upon a time i worked with toddlers…usually 16 to a room with 2 of us….
Once upon a time i went through a tough divorce and became a single mum…..
Once upon a time i went back to uni to study again…this time while working full time and as a single parent…assignments at 2am were the worst!
Once upon a time i had a fussy toddler to feed and toilet train….she is now a teenager….
Once upon a time i managed large community services projects….
Once upon a time i gave presentations and wrote a workbook on postnatal depression…..
Once upon a time i thought i was tired and emotionally drained experiencing all these things…….
Recently i have realised that these previous moments in my life pale in comparison to staying at home and raising twin toddlers….NOW i am tired!
Oh my goodness we have certainly reached the ‘challenging stage' with a vengence! I have two toddlers with such different personalities and needs and it is making the days seem awfully long at times….I'm not sure if it is because i am older now than when i had Miss Teen or if i have just forgotten the tough times i experienced the first time around, but i just feel more exhausted at the end of each day than i used to when studying, working and bringing up Miss teen on my own!I think that maybe i got old when i wasn't looking…the big 40 arrives this year!
Could it be that this is the parental amnesia i have heard whispered of by other parents more ‘perfect' than i? Is this what happens so that we continue to have children?!! I'm not sure, but i do know that although these girls give me many moments of joy throughout the day…they also hand out frustration and exhaustion and a sneaky guilt that i am already thinking about the joy that is 7pm…when it is only 9am somedays! Ooops, not mother of the year material!
But there are moments when i sit surrounded by paint, or nappies or food and they smile or laugh or chase each other up the hall or play peek a boo through the window with each other, that i remember just how blessed we are to have these two very different souls in our life. They fight with each other, they whinge…but they also go into a world of their own when playing with each other, each with their own distinct giggle and sense of fun, each with their own purpose but each there for the other…what a gift i have been given to be able to stay at home and witness such moments.
It is in these moments that the tiredness seems to melt away (don't worry, it does come back and usually hands me a glass of red…this isn't one of those'perfect parent' posts!!) and i understand the positives to being a tired parent at the end of a busy and often fractious day and before my head hits the pillow at night i am thinking how they are really sweethearts of course…..hold on, there's that parent amnesia…sneaky sucker isn't it!!!
Have you ever experienced parent amnesia? Do you ever think about all you do as a parent in a day?(Even if it often feels a little like groundhog day!!)
Let's share some weekend fun (can't imagine why i was tired)…can't have a post without photos!!!
Thanks for dropping by to share some parenting pondering and weekending fun! Hope yours was a good one!