Swallowing hard i looked around to see if perhaps there was a reason we couldn't go through with it…perhaps another day would be better….but no, the lonely road was bare except for our family stationwagon and a girl beaming ear to ear urging me out of my seat.
This girl that once dressed in tutus and made cakes in the sandpit was standing before me all grown up and holding her driver's license, ‘L' for learner plates! How did this happen? My heart was screaming that this baby of mine wasn't old enough to be behind the wheel of a car yet….surely she couldn't be 16 and ready to embark on a whole new adventure leading to yet more Independence and another step away from me?
Surely getting a part time job and already looking like a beautiful 19 yr old is enough for this old Mum to cope with…surely?
But no….she took the test (twice which i have to say didn't inspire confidence…)and passed and now she is begging us every minute to let her drive somewhere.
I can't describe the fear and yet the desire to teach and guide her well. But the fear my friends…oh my goodness i was not prepared! I have a lot of trouble letting go as it is and to sit in the passenger seat while your ‘little girl' begins to drive off…on a real road no less, had me near hysterics (on the inside of course…all good mothers have learnt how to internalise by the time their kids are teenagers!!)
We head up the deserted road and she is actually doing quite well…i loosen my grip on the logbook and begin to relax just a little. Then it happens…..another car is coming and i think i may hyperventilate…she seems to be having a little issue understanding where the middle of the road is and just how far to our side she NEEDS to be right now…i instruct and guide her calmly using that Mummy voice (well that's what i heard..apparently i wasn't exactly that calm….) and then the car is past us…and you know what? I glance over at another young driver gripping the wheel tightly while an anxious looking father sits in the passenger seat….the L plate clearly displayed!We all survived!
I have since learnt that Sunday's are a popular day for learner driver's to be on the roads…funny i had never really noticed that before. At least i felt like i was not the only one experiencing a little fear that day!
I managed half an hour with a few 3 point turns and crossing of intersections before i really felt the need to call this first lesson to a close….the twins would be needing me you understand darling….you did great but we will have to stop until another day now….(please let that day be far away!)
I am ashamed to admit that i have only managed 3 more lessons before admitting that perhaps i'm really not up to this task…there doesn't seem to be any control from the passenger seat you see! Don't get me wrong….she is a very responsible girl and she is trying her best and we all have to begin to learn somewhere…..i fully understand and appreciate that……but apparently i am a little ‘stressful' to drive with.
Hmmmm…..good thing her stepfather is such a patient man and seems to enjoy taking her out for lessons (not that that was my plan you understand) and i really don't mind paying the exorbitant $60 hour for the professional lessons……of course…..as many as you need darling…it's worth it really…..they have so much control with those pedals on the other side of the car as well…what a great idea!
I'd love to be the sort of Mum who is wonderfully patient and not at all anxious in moments like these but sometimes you just have to realise your weaknesses and limitations…and what is actually best for your child…no matter how well intentioned you are……and that is the reality of family life my friends!
I have no idea how i will handle her actually driving off by herself…perhaps i will have let her go a little bit more by then….but probably not!
It just occured to me that we will have 2 girls at the same time to teach to drive when the twins reach this same age….perhaps their older sister would like to help while Mummy has a nice cup of tea….??
Linking this post up to….
Oh how I loved and hated this post all at the same time! I am so proud of you for even giving her a go, because I am freaking out about the whole idea and my girls are only 8!!! Well done Mamma!
Thanks Kate….i could say don’t worry you have years to go yet…but goodness they seemed to fly!!!
rebekah @ justfordaisy says
Oh my…. Tears welled up as I read the bit about once wearing a tutu.. Miss Daisy is frequently sporting a tutu and gumboots… I can’t bear the thought that one day I’ll be looking at a young lady and wondering where my toddler went!
Good luck with the lessons – perhaps you can take over again at the half way mark once she’s off and running!! 🙂
I know…it really hits me sometimes and i wonder where that little girl went and did i miss something!!
I will try again for sure…but after a few lessons lol!
Little Home In The Country says
Oh Jode… I am RIGHT there with you! My teen daughter is taking her learners this month as well… I’m a wreck!
Oh dear….i so hope you are braver than i!!! Sending you lots of strength in this difficult time hehee!!
andie jaye says
oh gracious… my pulse was racing reading this… we’re at that point, too with my daughter… yikes! saved this link and pinned for future reference 🙂
So glad i am not alone here!!!
Twins Squared says
Oh goodness! Much to think about! And yes, I remember taking drivers ed and seeing the pedals on the passenger seat side with the instructor. Seems like a smart idea to me! As for doing two at a time, never thought about that in terms of actually having to TEACH them to drive. Yikes! Good luck to all of you! I can’t even think about driving right now – so not ready for that!
I know…the twin driving lesson thing is a little scary…best we not think about it lol!!!
Happy Whimsical Hearts says
Wow! Well done to Miss Teen getting her ‘Ls’! Very exciting time for her 🙂 And well done on managing a few lessons – I remember my first lesson, my mum and I only made it around the block before we both came back in tears – you did well to keep the panic inside!!
Oh my goodness Jode you did a whole lot better than I think I will when Miss 13 gets her learners permit and I think if any of us take her out it will be her Dad but the lessons sound like the way I’ll be going too. It is hard seeing them grow isn’t it, how did it happen so fast:(. xx