I think sometimes as parents we need to hear that we are occasionally getting it right…not every day of course….but some days! Today was one of those days for me and i really wanted to share here with you in this little space of mine!
One of the truly magical things for me about blogging is that i am keeping a history of how we are growing as a family and how steps that may seem small at the time are actually an important part of a larger path we are slowly building!
6 months ago i wrote a post about coming to terms with the fact that Ruby wasn't meeting her developmental milestones and was going to need extra support. You can read the post My Child Isn't Perfect if you are interested…it was an emotional time. Today i read that post again and i am so very glad that i wrote those words back then….they have allowed me to acknowledge and appreciate the progress Ruby has made. It's sometimes hard to see when you are lost in the everyday rhythm of life.
Since we identified the areas Ruby was having difficulty in i have done my best as a Mum and former child care teacher to incorporate activities to support and extend her learning. This is the reason for our many sensory based Messy Play Activities , our exploration and persistence with activities to challenge Fine Motor Skills and Play and the incorporation of simple activities to foster Balance & Coordination.
I've also fought an ongoing battle to work with Ruby's fear of many foods…..tried many recipes and ideas….sought information from the Occupational Therapist, Pinterest boards and other parents experiencing the same. I have been strong when voices told me that she is just a fussy eater and i am pandering to her toddler whims….i know my child and i know fear in her eyes when i see it. I don't challenge those parents or professionals….i know they are coming from a good place originally…they are just not well informed.
By blogging about the successes i have had with Ruby's eating i can look back and see that we have indeed made progress and this little girl is growing more confident around foods and textures everyday. It's still frustrating, meal times are still my most dreaded times of the day….but they are no longer Ruby's…and that is what matters.
I love to look back at the post i wrote on 3 Favourite Rice Recipes as it was just such a pivotal and joyous moment for me….i cooked something my little girl had never been able to eat before without gagging…and she ate it and asked for more….yes for more. I do believe i cried some tears of joy that day. It may seem small but it was such a breakthrough and turning point for us both.
I've also been collecting a lot of great ideas in these areas and pinning them on my Pinterest boards…they are a great source of inspiration and support …i'm always adding new pins if you want to drop by for a visit!
Why am i sharing all this with you dear readers and friends? Because today we had another assessment for Ruby with the OT, speech therapist and physiotherapist and they told me they were blown away by her progress…blown away!
I felt she had made some big steps forward in all of the above areas but i wondered if that was just the wishes of a tired yet proud Mum! To hear others say she was making remarkable progress and is lucky to have a Mum working on all these areas so well with her…well i just felt like i was on cloud nine. The frustration, the quiet tears, the days when it seemed nothing was changing, the food thrown out to the dog yet again, the fear of the unknown lying ahead…it all disappeared and right at that moment i felt like the luckiest Mum in the world!
This isn't a quick fix story….i want to be really clear about that…I'm not trying to imply that she is fine after 6 months…she's not. Ruby will begin early intervention class once a week next year (and i still have the dilemma of finding alternate care for Tara unfortunately) to continue supporting her in the areas she needs help with…..but she is making progress….we are moving forward and that is just such a relief to a Mum who was so scared of the future a mere 6 months ago.
I'm so proud of my little Ruby, she tries so hard and loves to join in wherever she can. I'm proud too of her twin sister Tara who seems to understand some of Ruby's fears and tries to help in her own way…whether it's offering her meat from her plate “It's ok Ruby…Tara eating it” or cuddling her in the bath as she screams with terror while i wash her hair. Their older sister Miss Teen is idolised and offers such a wonderful role model. And her Daddy is always there for her and more patient than i ever am!
Thanks also to those who offered such kind words on that original post 6 months ago (i am so grateful that many of you are still dropping by)….they meant more than you will ever know and strengthened my resolve to just getting on with the job of parenting…no matter what challenges lay ahead.
I guess some days as a parent you really need a win and appreciate a pat on the back…and today was my day….now time to go and fold that mountain of nappies!
Back to the reality of being Mum x
Warm Wishes….
Isn’t it great to have this record for you to look back on. So glad to hear you’re seeing progress x
You are so right Bek…i really am so glad i am keeping this record now!x
Yay! Go Ruby and go Mummy. You deserve to feel proud of your efforts! Beautiful post honey.
Thanks so much Penny!
I hear your joy Jode! One of my daughters was born 14 weeks premature and every day is harder for her than it is for her sister and many of her peers. I am so proud of every little achievement she makes as I knoe that she has to work for every little milestone. The work you are putting into Ruby is so admirable and you do deserve a pat on the back. Thanks for sharing your journey so far 🙂
14 weeks must have been such an emotional time…and still so much to cope with too…thanks for your words xx
Oh Jode! Well done, you are an amazing mum, and the way you have introduced fun ways to help Ruby is inspiring. To hear she has already progressed so well in the last 6 months is amazing (is it really six months ago you wrote that post! wow). And what a gorgeous special bond Tara and Ruby share, what a sweet sister Tara is to try to help the ways she does. I am so glad you shared this post!
Yay Jode! You deserve that pat on the back, you have put a lot into helping Ruby with her challenges. Still a long road ahead, I know, but what a wonderful start to that journey! I wish I could offer support for Tara while you and Ruby attend your sessions…I hope something comes about for you 🙂 I love the bond you talk about between the girls, it really is special and comforting to know that her journey is accompanied by her twin.
Thanks so much Amie…what a lovely comment!So wish we lived closer xx
What a beautifully heart felt post 🙂 Parenting is (by far) the single most challenging journey I’ve ever experienced. I have dealt with unique special needs in several of my 5 children over 21 years of parenting. Each of those issues brought no end of frustration and sadness, but we too, have gradually overcome those challenges (for the most part). Progress is slow and sometimes indiscernible, but like you point out, over the long term, distinctly appreciable. Hugs to you – you are doing a FANTASTIC job and your dear Ruby is indeed, a jewel 🙂
It certainly is challenging….but it is worth it when you see those small wins isn’t it? Thanks for the hugs and your lovely words my dear xx
Congratulations, you deserve the praise. Thanks for the update. Your girls are so lucky to have a devoted mum like you.
Congratulations Jode! Your hard work and dedication to Ruby and to your family is paying off. You should be very proud, not only of Ruby, but of yourself. Can’t wait to read more in the future about your successes!
Thanks Stephanie…hope to share more successes soon xx
How wonderful to hear of the leaps and bounds your little girl has made. You are doing a fantastic job Mama, your three girls are lucky to have you xx
Thanks so much for stopping by Amanda and following our progress x
Don’t know how I missed this post last week – so glad to hear of her progress! And what a great mom to give so much of yourself for her (and her sister’s) benefit. I have a good friend, both of her children have special needs. One is high-functioning autistic and I know they have worked SO HARD and LONG so that he would do ok once he went to kindergarten. And you know what? I don’t think I would have ever known if she hadn’t told me. Now her younger daughter seems to have some neuro-sensory issues that is affecting her and my friend spends so much time working with BOTH kids, doc appts, therapists. It is a HUGE job filled with concern and worry. While I would say I have some “difficult” children, I have not really had to deal with developmental delays and I know I have been blessed. I do have one of my olders that I think is very borderline on some kind of processing disorder, borderline on sensory issues as well. Thinking about looking into it but so far nothing has held her back, just makes things harder for her. But I’m thinking maybe if I look into it we can make things easier for her. You’re doing great! I had no idea – guess I missed the other post as well. But how great to see her progress! And you’re right – I love blogging for the journal and record-keeping of it all! Keep us posted on your girls in this regard. 🙂
And you’re right – that mother’s intuition and knowing your child – you know when something is not right vs a normal behavioral issue.
What a beautiful comment…so lovely of you to take the time! I’d look into it further for your daughter…you might save a few meltdowns and stresses in the long run. Occupational therapists seem to be the most knowledgeable in this area (here anyway)…good luck!
I was so thrilled to read of Ruby’s progress! That is such brilliant news. You are so devoted to your children and that love and effort is paying off. Well done Mama! It was so touching to read of Tara’s empathy for Ruby and how she tries to help Ruby through her fears. This is such a beautiful post Jode. I’m featuring you on my blog today as one of my favourites from last week’s Sunday Parenting Party. It should be live in a couple of hours from now.
Thanks so much for your lovely comments everyone…you are all so kind xx
Just wait, it keeps getting better and better! My 5 1/2 year old son has spd and speech issues. The spd causes severe anxiety. As he gets older every day becomes more amazing. Every day he does something that is a big deal for us. Honestly, I wouldn’t change our life for the world, normal milestones seem so boring! Congrats to yourvfamily on every step so far, and enjoy every step of the way!
Thanks so much for sharing your words Alicia! I just love your positive attitude…i bet your son benefits enormously!
Dear Jode, while on Pinterest I came across a pin to this page. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU, for sharing your/Ruby’s story! From what I’ve read, just on this 1 post, my (soon to be) 3 year old Daughter sounds just like your little Ruby. My daughter struggles with speech & gross motor/ balance delays & a fear of eating. She sticks to a menu of eggs, yogurt, oatmeal, & strawberries, that’s it (at least for now)… It breaks my heart to see her struggle with foods & to hear opinions from people. I know they truly care, but it breaks a part of me when they always think they have the “easy answer”… If only they could spent 1 day in my life to understand our life, maybe then they could understand our emotional struggles of not knowing what is genetically “wrong” with her muscles and how this effects her eating; or how hard it is to not be able to “fix” it. I find myself so emotional as I read your beautiful words. You perfectly describe what I feel at this very moment while my daughter & husband are at another day of therapies. I have happy tears for finding someone who understands it all… the pain, the successes, the struggles, the progress, the fears, and ultimately the JOYS of looking back! I know how good you feel looking back on your 6 months, as we have a LONG & beautiful path behind us, too! Your words were my much need pat on the back today, in many ways your words were my answered prayer! Sincerely, Cathy (in Michigan, USA)
Cathy…what an absolutely beautiful comment…you really have made my day.Sounds like we have many similarities with our daughters….i can hear it in your words!The opinions from others can be hard to take at times can’t they? SPD doesn’t seem to be recognised outside of OT’s much here in Australia so i get some pretty funny looks when i try to explain it to some people and ‘professionals’!
I feel so humbled to have reached out and touched a like minded soul experiencing many of the same things i often feel others don’t understand and usually judge.I would love to email you as i’m not sure if you will ever see this comment (but don’t know your address sorry)…if you do, please drop me an email if you feel comfortable…i would so love to connect with you. If not i at least would like to say…words cannot express the emotion and gratitude i felt when i read your comment…thanks for taking the time out of your day and also for being so honest…best, best wishes for your continuing journey with your daughter…you are certainly not alone xxx
Jode, I’m so happy to read your reply 🙂 Funny story, I shared this page on facebook with my dearest friend (of 22 years)with my comment, “I sincerely wish I could meet this Mom & Daughter!” …And here we are, both wishing for the same, that’s something special for sure!!! ♥ I’m usually the emotionally level gal, but last night I was just so (I don’t know how to describe it…) so connected for the first time since our first “abnormal” test 2 years ago. I just had this overwhelming feeling like, “Wow, she gets IT!” It was a very powerful & unexpected emotion that no one else can understand. They try, but it’s not the same. You do! I was able to read a little more of your blogs and it’s crazy just how many similarities we have beyond our girls… For 1. I spent 9 years as a teacher’s assistant & 4 years as a special ed teacher. I’ve worked with so many different ares of development and I have a good background with SPD that starts long before my daughter. Funny how life works sometimes! And another funny fact… I’ve been planning my dream vacation to AUSTRALIA since I was 10, lol. So, yes, yes, yes, I will email you tomorrow. And look for a friend request from “Cathy Alexis” on facebook. (Alexis is my daughter’s name) For now, I must get to bed, lol 🙂
How wonderful Cathy! I tried to go to your facebook page but nothing showed up for me…will try to like you with my personal page too and see if that works!I love all the similarities and can’t wait to chat more!It’s nice to be understood isn’t it!!
This is wonderful news!!! So glad that you are finding improvement!
I realize this is an old post, but just had to tell you that I love how honest you were about the situation and how felt about it.
Thanks so much for that Liz – I always think it’s not important to display a facade of perfection because someone else is probably feeling the same way and it might help them to know they are not alone!