The toddler twosome are just past the 2 yr mark now and i have been thinking for a while about beginning toilet (potty) training. Yes, with these two…..
To be perfectly honest i have been dreading it and therefore putting it off i think. I have been trying to get my head around training 2 toddlers at once and imagining all sorts of fights and tantrums…and puddles and poop everywhere! The mess i can deal with…after working with classes of toddlers for 15 years that doesn't really faze me….and i have managed to once before very successfully with Miss Teen so i know i can do it….but the 2 thing has me worried it seems!
I have been waiting for the perfect moment….but is there a perfect moment? I know the signs of readiness and i remember all the basics but what about when one twin is ready but the other isn't? Do i have to do them together or can i try one at a time as each is an individual and has different needs? Are there rules about these things?
As it turns out there aren't any rules when it comes to toilet training twins…..but from what i can gather you need nerves of steel. I have been visiting the toilet training topics in the multiples forums and i don't mind telling you that i have come away terrified and yet also inspired and confident that i can manage this (i think…)
So after asking around i decided to load up on undies (knickers), buy 2 potties and a toilet seat insert and just start! I'd love to tell you it is all going swimmingly…but i would be lying!
The reality is that…..
- It doesn't matter whether you have 2 pottys of exactly the same colour…they will still fight over just one of them.
- Even if they don't want to use the big toilet they will both fight over it at the exact same time.
- Even though my idea was to train one at a time and just ‘involve' the other one at this stage….they had a different idea.
- Even though i have just finished cleaning up one puddle and changing pants….i can guarantee that if i turn around the other twin will have just had their accident.
- After a nice sit on either the toilet or potty and much praise for ‘trying'….there will be a wee on the floor exactly 3 minutes later.
- Cloth nappies are a lot less work!
- Clothes that were sewn especially to fit cloth nappy bottoms no longer fit slim little bottoms in knickers so everything falls down!
- There will be tears and frustration…..from the toddler twosome as well…
OK…so you get the gist of it…..it's only been a few days but I'm really not sure now that Tara is as ready as i thought she was….problem is she loves wearing her new undies….and that's that. Of Course Ruby has to have what her sister has too…..and that's that. yet no one is peeing in either the toilet or potty!!!
I'm not giving up just yet….i knew it wouldn't be an easy task…..but as i have been thinking about how quickly i am ready to give up i have started to wonder whether there are a few other factors in play here!
We have finally just started getting out of the house more than once a week….yes really…the whole getting 2 kids to the car, strapping them in, unloading into a double pram just to get to the doorway of somewhere and then the subsequent squabbles as they take each others things in the pram or invade their personal space has really just not been worth the effort i found! But in the last few months we were breaking through those barriers…we were seeing the outside world!
Now with toilet training i fear we will become isolated again.
I am also one of those people who love to see little padded bottoms and cloth nappies drying on the line…..i was so excited to be able to wash and use cloth nappies again as i didn't think there would be another chance after Miss Teen! Sure they can be hard work but i still love the look, feel and smell (clean only of course)of those cloth nappies. I will miss them….and it means my babies aren't babies anymore if those nappies go.
I am beginning to wonder if perhaps i am not really wanting toilet training to be a success just yet….perhaps Mums need to be ready to let go and learn new skills too?
I caught myself about to stamp my foot and yell ‘I want my cloth nappies back right now!' by yesterday afternoon……now whose the baby?
So i think we all have a few areas to work on before this toilet training caper will be a success…right now i am going to keep trying but if i need to stop and reassess and wait just a little bit longer until EVERYONE is ready and there are less tears…..then that is what i will do….i hope that doesn't make me a terrible mother…just an honest one!
Have you struggled with the realities of toilet training? Or perhaps realised that there is more involved than you thought?
I'd love to hear your best tips….whether training one toddler or 2! And does anyone know how i can let go of my cloth nappies?…..this will be the last time i use them…..but it feels a little like i am saying bye to baby days!
I hope I'm not going a little bit mad……..I think i am joking about the nappies…..
Have a great week everyone….i really appreciate you dropping by!
I got very overwhelmed with E at first because I just didn’t know what I was doing. With boys there’s divided opinion if you teach them to go standing up or sitting down…then I wasn’t sure if I wanted a little potty or teach him to use the big potty. Then I got one stool and he got scared of it, so I bought a different one. Lol so I had 2 methods, 2 stools, 2 potties, and every time we tried I’d try all of them which of course stressed both of us out.
Finally what we ended up doing is taking him in the bathroom naked and just hang out. The little potty was there but I didn’t try to get him to sit on it or aim for it. We’d just hang and talk. Then he’d start peeing and I just would scoop the potty underneath the stream and praise him for going in the potty! I don’t think this would work very well for girls, but that’s how we started it.
Within about 48 hours he was peeing on command in the potty almost every time I took him.
Now the problem is with me. I’m just so lazy, or tired, or I forget. He needs to be taken potty every hour or more often if he’s been drinking a lot. But my schedule is so NUTS most of the time and we aren’t home a ton of times. Here, there, childcare, gym, Bible study, church…blah blah blah. Nothing is consistent about our schedule and then when we are home I’m just exhausted or busy doing housework. We are mostly in undees at home but he has a lot of accidents because he doesn’t tell me when he needs to go. So If I get distracted with the laundry or dishes (or blog or facebook…) then he ends up having accident after accident. And when we are out we are in sposie pullups (I’ve always done sposies for outings)…and at night he ALWAYS wakes up drenched even in sposie overnights! I even bought hemp liners and tried TRIPLE liners and he wakes up wet! lol
So…I dunno. there are days when he does GREAT and is in the same pair of underware all day, has dry pullups because I remember to take him at the store etc. Other days I’m changing wet underware every 15 minutes! lol
My condolences for your situation. I can’t imagine training two!!!
The Provincial Homemaker says
Well you know that fun we have had. Must say though I picked up a book at Big W called princess potty and it seems to have sparked an interest. No potty or wearing knickers yet, but at least she will take the nappy off for an extended period of time. I think you will know when they are ready. I am learning that delaying is not necessarily a bad thing – you all need to be ready.
Princess Potty is a good one…i keep trying to remember to buy a copy!I remember training miss teen by just letting her run naked in Summer so you might have success yet!
I’m not stressed if we have to wait longer…i might be too relieved though lol!
Enchanted Moments says
I used to put little ms knickers over her nappy she loved them so much…….and when the Summer comes, just let them run around outside without anything on…and the potties near by…all kids are different, just treat them as two individual children, not twins…? I always found Summer, was just a good time………..
I do remember taking that strategy with miss teen so perhaps it is the way to go…and treat them individually too x
Enchanted Moments says
hey, and dont be hard on yourself about ANY of it….they are only two, and two is sooooo little….we had so many hiccups along the way with little m, I miscarried when I had almost got her trained and then everything went out the window…so she wasnt fully trained until the beginning of this year, and over three……….and you know what…..it didnt matter a hoot…………x
Lisa Nolan @ Life Happens says
Love, love, love the post and the photos!
When a mom asks me for my Montessori-minded potty training tips I always say, Not until YOU THE MOM is ready!
And if it makes you feel any better, and I know it will, my son started potty training at 2 1/2 (and I was ready and knew all the right moves!). He’s eight now and only this summer did he give up pull-ups. And he still has accidents. I could go on for days, but then I’d sound “a little bit mad”! (As a disclaimer boys with Down syndrome take years to potty train… well, at least my son can read and write albeit imperfectly!)
I love your tip Lisa…so true! I think you are doing awfully well to have made the progress with your son that you have….i have read a few of your struggles!I shall maintain patience!x
JDaniel4's Mom says
I was ready before JDaniel. He took forever to be interested and want to work on it. Once he was ready it came together semi- quickly.
Potty training is such a big job and you have two little ones to get through I can understand that you would feel overwhelmed and knowing that they will be your last certainly would play on your mind a bit too. I know I would feel a bit apprehensive about potty training two at the same time so if you decide that they aren’t ready then know I would never think you’re a bad Mum. Any tips….it’s been so long since I’ve done this I can hardly remember. I know that Miss 13 was much more difficult to train then Miss 8, it was a lot of hard work. But then Miss 8 just got it and before I knew it the nappies were gone it hardly felt like she was in them. I didn’t do anything special with the second one she kind of just did it herself. They are all so different I think just see how things go and if you need to go back to nappies then that’s ok too. Good luck. xx
Kirsty @ Bowerbird Blue says
They’ll train when they’re ready, mine took their time and when they were finally up to it it was pretty easy. Give them a go at it for a week or two and if it’s not working then delay for a while. Last child just out of night nappies here, won’t miss that part of parenting little ones. My last child really got into the potty time app, there were songs and pictures to paste when she went, ridiculous but whatever works.
Fiona from Arbordale Farm says
I am not a mum so I have no tips. However I am pretty sure that if you are feeling a bit anxious about it then that feeling could get passed on. So take your time, there is no hurry. With summer on it’s way there will be plenty of pants off time and things might just fall into place.
Jo C says
With my little JD 23 months, I had noticed over the last 6 months that he was holding his pee overnight, as every morning his nappy was dry and would not pee in it until he had been awake for around 30 minutes. So I decided last week to try him out, we have had many misses, but are starting to get there with 3 successful #2 in the potty in 4 days (1 day he didn’t do one) and a week and a half of no nappys at night. He likes to have a shower in the morning with either Daddy or me and goes pee pee in there, then 2 pees through the day (doesn’t matter how much liquids I force down his throat) and usually 1 #2 and then (something about water I think) 1 pee pee in his bath. I know it is still early days but I think my boy has shown his signs and is ready but a bit stubborn at times. Only you can know if the girls are ready and they will be little stars when they are I’m sure!
The Monko says
i love reading about how things are going with you guys. Apparently I was potty trained 6 months before my sister who just wasn’t interested at the time. Fingers crossed its not too drawn out and messy for you! I’m pinning this to the Sunday Parenting Party Pinterest Board and featuring on my SPP post this week