Hi, my name is Jodie, Mum to a teen and twins…..and I have an addiction.
I know it’s not good for me, I know I can’t sustain it forever, but at this moment in time I know beyond a doubt that I NEED it!
Yes my friends….I might be an early childhood educator and Mum but I have an addiction I can’t quite break….I crave the peace and solitude of midnight…every single night.
I get up for work at 6am each morning so as you imagine I’m often tired. But it’s worth it, it truly is. You might have gathered I’m not a morning person though…ever. Do those people actually exist?
Why do I do it? Let me walk you through my reasons. They all make perfect sense so of course it’s not really an addiction is it?
1. Because I can go to the toilet by myself…no hands under the door, no little voice asking me what I’m doing…I can even sit there for a minute JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO!
2. Because I don’t have to make breakfast, morning tea, lunch, dinner or afternoon tea for anyone…I can even have a snack just for myself if I want to. And EAT ALL OF IT. And not even clean up…even though I know it will be me doing it in the morning.
3. Because I can listen to music…my music…not kid’s music, not teenagers music, not my partner’s music I pretend to like…mine…on repeat if I want to. I know, such a rebel!
4. Because I can start a job and actually finish it before someone needs me to do something for them….now.
5. Because I can look around and appreciate my family…as they sleep ever so quietly and aren’t bugging me. They are all cute yes…but damn hard work.
6. Because I can put the house back into order, get all my ‘housekeeping duties’ done and see it stay that way for a few hours. I like to tell myself what an awesome homemaker I am at this time of night…I mean, just look at my clean house!
7. Because I love to write and to do this I need to be able to form a thought and actually get it down on paper without being interrupted constantly. This usually only happens at midnight in this house.
8. Because in the midnight hours I feel like an adult….not a Mum or partner or educator…just me. Sometimes I so desperately need to find that person again. Sometimes I fear I have lost her and then the sanity of midnight rolls around again and I can grab her and hold on tight for a few hours.
9. Because I don’t hear any sentences starting with “Mummy why does…” “Jodie where are you?” or my personal favourite “I done a poopy, you can wipe my bum now” Great stuff.
10. Because I can drink a hot cup of tea before it turns to iced tea or (and we all know this is more likely) a nice glass of red without thinking of those guilt inducing parent drinking in front of the child and messing them up for life ads.
11. Because it gives me a cheap thrill to stay up later than the teen in the house. Hey, you have to get your kicks where you can people!
12. But seriously, the main reason is because I can dream, I can hope and I can let myself just be me.
It’s the time I can safely think about what I have achieved and what I could still achieve if only I had more of the magical midnight time. I can let myself be selfish and put my own thoughts first. I can remember the me before children and before wrinkles but I can also appreciate the path I have travelled and how lucky I am to have them in my life…and I can do this because they are quiet and sleeping, let’s not ever forget the sleeping.
In this magical midnight place I often dream up my next project or teach myself something new, I chat with special friends online that I have never met but I know are always up embracing the same time of night as me. I know they are there if I need them and in return I am there for them.
It truly is a magical time of the day for me and no matter how tired I am the next day I cannot give it up. I am addicted.
I know I’m addicted because you don’t want to see what happens when one of the kids deigns to interrupt this precious time of mine by waking up or even worse… being sick. At least the earphones can drown out the other half’s awful snoring.
But none of that is worth giving up this addiction…it would probably be safe to say though that I won’t be going back to the early morning gym classes I used to do before kids anytime soon.
I’m the one hiding my head under the pillow until I absolutely have to turn into that partner, Mum and Educator person again. She’s not a bad sort but she has nothing on that familiar person that visits at midnight!
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