Hi my lovely blogging friends! I am sitting here trying to get enthused about writing a post and you know what? I just can't. I am tired, i am emotional, i am a little bit sad…and i am tired. LOL!
I had all intentions of writing my usual Toddler Food Tuesday post but in all honesty my heart just isn't in it. I think regular readers will know that i have been having some issues with twin Tara the last few weeks…i think she is getting her 2 yr molars….but there has been so much whingeing and so little sleep that life had become a blur. This morning both girls woke up with colds and i nearly cried. Because all parents know what colds mean…clinginess, whingeing, snot and little sleep. Mum's with twins know it is so much worse than that…both want to be hugged and comforted at the same time…both don't understand why your attention can't just be on them only and both seem to wake at the same time of the night for comfort!
It seems to have been the final straw for me….it has been a tough month and is about to get tougher and i have to face the reality that there just isn't time for my hobbies at the moment….and that unfortunately includes blogging. I'm upset at this realisation as blogging is my ‘me' time…my escape into another world of other parents who understand and empathise and my record of the times we share as a family. But without lunchtime nap times and much broken night sleep i just can't set aside a time to get some writing done….i need to sleep or rest instead in those few precious moments they are asleep. That is the reality of being a Mum!
I am also trying to gain the strength to engage in yet another legal battle with Miss Teen's father…you think after 14 years of divorce we would have it sorted by now….but i still have to be her voice and fight for her rights. It is tiring and depressing and i long for the day when she is old enough to stand up to him and assert herself and her expectations of him as her father. I wish things were so different for her but they aren't and he isn't growing up so i have to go into battle for her again….and that is what Mum's do i know…but i am tired.
So my friends….i am going to take a little break from this space for now…hopefully not for long but i need to focus on being the best Mum i can and hopefully finding some strength for myself as to be honest with you…I'm not coping very well at the moment…i am stretched to capacity and in tears more often than i like. I hope to still be able to grab some time to visit your wonderful blogs and worlds to keep some connection but i need to step away from writing and just be there for all three of my girls at the moment.
I will repeat as always….'This too shall pass' (shared by a wonderful twin mummy with me many months ago)….i know it is just but a moment in parenting time….but it is my time to step up, put my needs aside and focus on my beautiful girls.
I hope you will all still be here when i get back….i promise not to be gone for too long!Thank you for joining me on this journey so far…i really do appreciate it !
Jode I am proud of you for realising the need to step back. It won’t be forever and at this time your gorgeous family need you. Just remember to be kind to yourself also. Hope the twins are well soon.
Take care lovely.
Little Home In The Country says
Hugs, Jode – ’tis a season my fellow Mama… one that will pass :0 Rest up and go easy on yourself XO
Thanks lovely…i really like that phrase and you are right i know. Things are already looking up and i am feeling more on top of things now having taken some of the stressors off the board for a bit xxx
andie jaye says
awwww… you poor dear. sounds like a tough walk at the moment. i will keep you in my prayers 🙂
Ngo Family Farm says
Sleep, dear Jode, and rest up whenever you can. I once read that, “what your babies need most is a happy, well-rested mother,” and I try to remember that when I feel overwhelmed. It helps me let go of the need to have everything “just so” and focus on the basics. Hope all is well again very soon!
Thanks for those lovely words and thoughts Jaime!You are so very right and i am already feeling a little less stressed since stepping back a little. I’m focusing on those basics for a little while but am sure to be back soon xxx
Happy Whimsical Hearts says
Jode my heart goes out to you ~ sending you a big hug. I hope your girls are feeling better soon, and well done for fighting for Miss Teen’s rights. You are a great mum.
Amie (Triple T Mum) says
Hey Jode. Your family needs you at the moment and to do that you need to put yourself first. Don’t feel like your letting any of ‘us’ down (you’re not!). We totally understand what it is like running around after everybody and understand that you need time to find the balance again. I get that. Cease that negative voice, Jode, you are good enough! Get some rest and just enjoy being with your gorgeous girls. I loved all the photos you chose for this post but I especially love your photo of the view of the bush. It feels like a place of healing. Take care, Jode. Speak soon 🙂
Oh, I just want to give you a big old bear hug right now. I soooooooo can relate. I want to blog and do so many other things but then I feel extremely guilty because it means taking time away from my family to do the things I enjoy.
But our families have to be our priority. Mommies are the glue and we hold everything together.
Promise me, this, though. In the evening, when all the kiddos are in bed, that you’ll take time for YOU. Whether it’s losing yourself in a reality tv show, drinking a glass of wine in the bathtub, or reading a book, take some time each day (even if it’s only 15 minutes) to take care of YOU!
You are good enough, you deserve it and your family will be much better served when you’ve taken good care of yourself, as well as them.
I won’t be blogging as much either this summer but let’s not lose touch with one another, esp when we hit rock bottom and need another twin mom to lean on for support and encouragement. My email is helene1108(at)yahoo(dot)com. E-mail me any time you just need to reach out and feel connected with the outside world…even though I’m on the other side of the world, you know I’m going through a lot of the same things!
Lynda Howells says
your family need you…come back refreshed..know you will be missedxlynda
Take care of yourself. I think as mothers we always try to do too much. Hope you sort everything out soon and get some sleep x
Twins Squared says
Awww – sorry things are rough right now. I am glad you are stepping back and doing what you need to do. I thin that is actually the beauty of blogging. I know it gets hard when you have a lot of followers and such, but I have finally made peace with the fact that I just do it as much or as little as I want and don’t put pressure on myself anymore. But like you say, it’s your hobby, your “me” time, and you don’t get to do it. Yes, toddler and baby twins aren’t easy. It DOES get better though! Hugs to you!
Little Mama says
So sorry to hear you’re going through such a rough patch. I hope things get better soon. Being a mama is bloody hard work and we often put way too much pressure on ourselves. Be nice to yourself and take it easy. Hope to hear from you on here again soon. x
Gooseberry Jam says
Hey Jode, hope things have picked up a little there for you lately, I hope the girls are feeling much better now. I’m so hearing what you say, being a bit flat today myself I can totally relate to your emotional journey…(including the one with the teen and the father business, I share a very similar story!!) These challenges can be very emotionally draining in themselves especially when you also have the young ones to care for as well with such completely different needs. You do the most amazing things for and with your children, you should be one very proud Mama! Taking time out away for your own indulgences is something that makes you a great Mum, I get so annoyed when I look at my sewing table and crochet box and it hasn’t been touched for a while, I also get a little sad and cranky sometimes when I jump onto the computer to catch up on blogs and see what amazing things everyone has been up to and I can’t blog because I just can’t seem to get even a simple sentence out of my head and onto paper, sometimes I think we put way to much expectations on ourselves! Make sure you keep your chin up Jode, you’ll be back with us when your ready. 🙂 XO
Kirsty @ Bowerbird Blue says
Hope those winter boogers leave the house soon, they’ve arrived at our house too and they do really make things feel quite crappy. Hang in there.
Oh Jode I hope your little ones get better soon and that you too can get that much need rest that you need and deserve. We will be here for you when you come back, take as much time as you need. Take care lovely. See you when you come back hopefully feeling refreshed. Hugs to you.xx
Gentle thoughts being sent your way. Good luck and enjoy your break. I hope the girls are well soon xx
Fiona from Arbordale Farm says
I hope you find some time for your self. Do you have the option to put both the girls in care for a day and have a day off? Look after your self.
HUGS!!!!!! I hope your time away is restful! I stopped apologizing for blog breaks a long time ago. My philosophy is that if you are a mommy blogger you just realistically can’t follow a strict blogging schedule! it’s too hard with little ones!!! Take time to rest and enjoy baby cuddles!
Thanks Aprille…i so appreciate your words and philosophy!!
Susan Case says
Beautiful blog. I’m following you from KBN. Have a restful day (lol).
Thanks Susan….lovely to see a fellow KBN member drop by…and you made me smile with your restful day wish lol!
Lisa Nolan says
Hang in there Jode, like you have a choice, right. Moms are the ones who get the rough roads and pathways.
I’ve been online for 14 years! Blogging since 2008, and I have had many “down times”. Many. So I totally get it, albeit I have and have had different struggles. What helped me, and what still helps me, is reading some of the writer mommy blogs, and the very powerful issues that they are dealing with, some stemming from childhood. And this inspires me, as well, to be more open about my “down times”.
So it’s also OK just to rant and rave! Show your scars for all to see. It can also be theraputic. So no pressure to be the perfect mommy blogger with perfect pics and activities! And you will see how many moms comment and say: “I get it! You mean I’m not the only one who feels this way!”
Hugs from my monkey-boy Jason, who, at the age of 7 1/2 IS STILL POTTY TRAINING AND I’M DOING THREE LOADS OF LAUNDRY A DAY AND RUSHING OUT TO THE THRIFT STORE TO BUY ALL THE SHORTS I CAN IN HIS SIZE AND IT TOOK ME NINE MONTHS TO GET HIM A HEARING AID CAUSE NO ONE WILL TAKE GOVERNMENT HEALTH CARE AND WE CAN’T AFFORD CAMPS THIS YEAR…
There, I had a little rant!
Lisa Nolan says
Jode, here is a mom writer blogger who wrote a very powerful post you should read and it shows how terrible our USA health care system is! Not to mention all the comments she got! http://www.alittlesomethingforme.com/2012/05/people-never-plan-to-be-us.html
I am constantly telling myself ‘this too shall pass’ when having meltdown moments. Grace suffered really badly with her two year old molars so I understand where you’re coming from. Remember this is all just a phase, taking time out to look after yourself and your girls is what’s important for now and when you’re feeling better, we’ll all be ready to read your posts 🙂