Hi my lovely blogging friends! I am sitting here trying to get enthused about writing a post and you know what? I just can't. I am tired, i am emotional, i am a little bit sad…and i am tired. LOL!
I had all intentions of writing my usual Toddler Food Tuesday post but in all honesty my heart just isn't in it. I think regular readers will know that i have been having some issues with twin Tara the last few weeks…i think she is getting her 2 yr molars….but there has been so much whingeing and so little sleep that life had become a blur. This morning both girls woke up with colds and i nearly cried. Because all parents know what colds mean…clinginess, whingeing, snot and little sleep. Mum's with twins know it is so much worse than that…both want to be hugged and comforted at the same time…both don't understand why your attention can't just be on them only and both seem to wake at the same time of the night for comfort!
It seems to have been the final straw for me….it has been a tough month and is about to get tougher and i have to face the reality that there just isn't time for my hobbies at the moment….and that unfortunately includes blogging. I'm upset at this realisation as blogging is my ‘me' time…my escape into another world of other parents who understand and empathise and my record of the times we share as a family. But without lunchtime nap times and much broken night sleep i just can't set aside a time to get some writing done….i need to sleep or rest instead in those few precious moments they are asleep. That is the reality of being a Mum!
I am also trying to gain the strength to engage in yet another legal battle with Miss Teen's father…you think after 14 years of divorce we would have it sorted by now….but i still have to be her voice and fight for her rights. It is tiring and depressing and i long for the day when she is old enough to stand up to him and assert herself and her expectations of him as her father. I wish things were so different for her but they aren't and he isn't growing up so i have to go into battle for her again….and that is what Mum's do i know…but i am tired.
So my friends….i am going to take a little break from this space for now…hopefully not for long but i need to focus on being the best Mum i can and hopefully finding some strength for myself as to be honest with you…I'm not coping very well at the moment…i am stretched to capacity and in tears more often than i like. I hope to still be able to grab some time to visit your wonderful blogs and worlds to keep some connection but i need to step away from writing and just be there for all three of my girls at the moment.
I will repeat as always….'This too shall pass' (shared by a wonderful twin mummy with me many months ago)….i know it is just but a moment in parenting time….but it is my time to step up, put my needs aside and focus on my beautiful girls.
I hope you will all still be here when i get back….i promise not to be gone for too long!Thank you for joining me on this journey so far…i really do appreciate it !