Well. I don't know about you but I'm actually very relieved that the whole Christmas/New Year season is done and dusted.
I know that sounds a little grinchy of me but I really do find that time of year stressful and just a tad exhausting. And this Christmas I had half the family sick on the day as well so that was the icing on the cake (well pavlova in fact but that never got eaten!)
Now I'm looking around the house and wondering how long I can get away with leaving the Christmas decorations and lights up before I have to haul the boxes up again from the garage and pack everything away. As usual I will vow to wind the lights so they don't get tangled and sort ornaments back into correct boxes but it won't happen. That would be because after the first 10 minutes of doing this tedious task in 40 degree heat and 90% humidity I truly just want it to end….quickly. Whose with me?
I know. You expected more from the Mum who shared all those kiddie Christmas crafts with you , heck, I expect more from me, constantly in fact so I won't hold it against you! The truth of the matter is I am a long way from being the perfect parent and acting in the way that society has currently decided all Mum's should act…whatever that is at the time of writing. Expectations of parenting changes so often lately it's hard to keep up ;).
Think I am exaggerating? Cast your eyes over the list of parenting fails moments
10 Reasons why I'm not the perfect parent!
- Last time the teen asked me for a driving lesson I faked a migraine and ran away to hide. I would prefer she never got her license and drove on her own actually, whatever I can do to achieve that goal has to be done. Don't judge me until you have been there and are terrified of your child sitting behind the wheel of a car….
- I've come to believe that red dirt and sand in every crevice of a 3 yr old's body doesn't actually need to be washed off every.single.night. Sometimes I choose not to go through the drama and emotionally draining experience of bath time…because I don't want to. That is all.
- Sometimes I make the decision that the kids sheets can go another week before washing (yes, even after the previous point and obvious red dirt stains on sheets) I make this decision because I truly cannot face taking off all those soft toys, dolls, doll bedding, special blanket, special, special blanket, flat pillow, bumpy pillow and special books that are ‘just waiting for morning' Seriously, the twins can fit a whole house on their beds…and the buggers know exactly what is there too so I can't even hide anything when it all goes back!
- I find my kids voices annoying….often.
- I dream about going to the toilet by myself or having a shower where I can wash my hair and shave legs all at once. No really, I am serious here. We all have our dreams and that is mine!
- I make my kids wait to start craft or eat their food because I need a photo for my blog. They understand that though…truly.
- I don't have a smartphone, apps or ipad for my 3 yr olds to use. They have to go outside and play or get messy the old fashioned way. Yes I know…shocking and i'm sure they will grow up one step behind their tech savvy friends!
- I can make chicken nuggets and chips sound like a healthy family dinner because they were oven fried and I served them with a salad (which won't be eaten but I put in the effort you understand).
- I'd give up reading bed time stories for an hour each night if it meant I could be granted the gift of reading just 2 pages of a novel and remembering what it was like to read the words of a story written for adults.
- My kids usually (actually always, but let's go with usually as it might change…probably…) miss out on the Pinterest and blog worthy Birthday party. I usually decorate one of the easier cakes from the Woman's Weekly Birthday Cake Book, throw up a few streamers and balloons and play old fashioned Birthday party games like pass the parcel. There is sometimes a theme but it all ties together pretty loosely. No idea how parents pull together these amazing parties, I get stressed and need a bottle of wine just to get through the cake baking and decorating episode. Miss Teen has made it to 17 though without any long standing emotional brithday trauma so I'm guessing the twins will survive too. They always have fun…and I always need a lie down afterwards so I think that will do…frankly it has to!